The Maxims of Methuselah

Frank Gelett BURGESS (1886 - 1951)

Being the Advice given by the Patriarch in his Nine Hundred Sixty and Ninth Year to his Great Grandson at Shem's Coming of Age, in Regard to Women.

The following is, so far as I know, the only authentic rendering into the English language of the three hundred and thirty parables attributed to Methuselah. . . . Of its origin, the book, although freely rendered into the idiom of the hour, still bears intrinsic evidence of having been compiled by one who had had extraordinary experience with women. The amorous expert will not find it hard to believe that 969 years would be none too short a time for any one man to have accumulated such a profound lore. Indeed, women tell us that the present span of life is entirely too brief for any ordinary man to obtain the slightest comprehension of the extreme complexity of feminine psychology. (Summary from the introduction)

Genre(s): Humor

Language: English

Section Chapter Reader Time
Play 00 Introduction KevinS
00:15:59
Play 01 Chapters 1-2 Phil Schempf
00:06:53
Play 02 Chapters 3-4 Phil Schempf
00:06:38
Play 03 Chapters 5-6 Larry Wilson
00:05:41
Play 04 Chapters 7-8 Wayne Cooke
00:07:12
Play 05 Chapters 9-10 Wayne Cooke
00:05:58
Play 06 Chapters 11-12 Larry Wilson
00:09:02
Play 07 Chapter 13 William Allan Jones
00:14:41
Play 08 Chapters 14-15 William Allan Jones
00:07:02
Play 09 Chapters 16-17 Garfield Dsouza
00:06:03
Play 10 Chapters 18-19 Garfield Dsouza
00:06:39
Play 11 Chapters 20-21 KevinS
00:06:00