Goops and How to Be Them

Frank Gelett BURGESS (1886 - 1951)

Let me introduce a Race
Void of Beauty and of Grace,
Extraordinary Creatures
With a Paucity of Features.
Though their Forms are fashioned ill,
They have Manners stranger still;
For in Rudeness they're Precocious,
They're Atrocious, they're Ferocious!
Yet you'll learn, if you are Bright,
Politeness from the Impolite.
When you've finished with the Book,
At your Conduct take a Look;
Ask yourself, upon the Spot,
Are you Goop, or are you Not?
For, although it's Fun to See them
It is Terrible to Be them! - Summary by Gelett Burgess

Genre(s): Poetry

Language: English

Section Chapter Reader Time
Play 01 Introduction, Table Manners—I, Table Manners—II, Cleanliness, Neatness, Courtesy, Generosity, Consideration, Miss Manners, Borrowing, Memory LittlePeanut
Play 02 Books, Honesty, "Why?", Bed-Time, Modesty, Disfiguration, Bravery, Tidiness, Patience Fortitude, George Adolphus LittlePeanut
Play 03 Politeness, Gentleness, Hospitality, Pets, Remember, Curiosity, Willy, Clothes, Helpfulness, Quietness, Order LittlePeanut
Play 04 Teasing, Interruption, Cry-Baby, Caution, Tardiness, Obedience, Church Headaches, Perseverance, Doll-Time, Combing and Curling, Cheerfulness LittlePeanut