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Baled Hay: A Drier Book than Walt Whitman's ''Leaves o' Grass''

Bill Nye (1850 - 1896)

There can really be no excuse for this last book of trite and beautiful sayings. I do not attempt, in any way, to palliate this great wrong. I would not do so even if I had an idea what palliate meant. . . . I have taken great care to thoroughly eradicate anything that would have the appearance of poetry in this work, and there is not a thought or suggestion contained in it that would soil the most delicate fabric.
Do not read it all at once, however, in order to see whether he married the girl or not. Take a little at a time, and it will cure gloom on the "similia simili-bus curanter" principle. - Summary by Bill Nye

Genre(s): Humorous Fiction

Language: English

Section	Chapter	Reader	Time
Play 01	DEDICATION.; BALED HAY	Scotty Smith	00:13:59
Play 02	GREELEY AID RUM.; ABOUT SAW MILLS.; EXPERIMENTS WITH OLD CHEESE.; THE RAG-CARPET.	Scotty Smith	00:12:50
Play 03	ONE KIND OF A BOY.; THE CHAMPION MEAN MAN.; FRATERNAL SPARRING.; CHIPETA'S ADDRESS TO THE UTES.	Scotty Smith	00:14:17
Play 04	BILL NYE'S CAT.; AUTUMN THOUGHTS.; THE MAN WHO INTERRUPTS.	Scotty Smith	00:15:34
Play 05	THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN COW.; PRESERVING EGGS.; HUMAN' NATURE ON THE HALF-SHELL.; TOO CONTIGUOUS.; THE AMENDE HONORABLE.	Scotty Smith	00:11:39
Play 06	JOAQUIN AND JUNIATA.; SOME VAGUE THOUGHTS.; THE YOUMORIST.; MY CABINET.	Scotty Smith	00:14:06
Play 07	HEALTH FOOD.; PINES FOR HIS OLD HOME	Scotty Smith	00:12:13
Play 08	ONE TOUCH OF NATURE.; HOW TO PUT UP A STOVE-PIPE.; FUN OF BEING A PUBLISHER.; LINGERIE.; FRUIT.; THE BONE OF CONTENTION.	Scotty Smith	00:13:21
Play 09	CONGRATULATORY.; THE AGONY IS OVER.; OSTRICH CAVALRY.; AN ELECTRIC BELT.; THE ANNUAL WAIL; HE WAS NOT A BURGLAR.	Scotty Smith	00:10:43
Play 10	BEST ON, BLESSED MEMORY.	Scotty Smith	00:14:27
Play 11	GENIUS AND WHISKY.; THE TWO-HEADED GIRL; THE CULTIVATION OF GUM.; WE HAVE REASONED IT OUT.; CARVING SCHOOLS.	Scotty Smith	00:13:31
Play 12	DIGNITY.; ALWAYS ROOM AT THE TOP.; INACCURATE.; THE WESTERN ''CHAP.''	Scotty Smith	00:13:57
Play 13	AN INCIDENT OF THE CAMPAIGN.; WHY DO THEY DO IT?; TWO STYLES.; GOSHALLHEMLOCK SALVE.; THE STAGE BALD-HEAD.	Scotty Smith	00:12:26
Play 14	FATHERLY WORDS.; THE GOOD TIME COMING.; MANIA FOR MARKING CLOTHES.; REGARDING THE NOSE.	Scotty Smith	00:13:58
Play 15	SOMETHING TOO MUCH OF THIS.; COLOR BLINDNESS.; IS DUELING MURDER?; HEAP GONE.; THE EDITORIAL LAMP.	Scotty Smith	00:12:07
Play 16	DIFFICULT TO IDENTIFY.; THE MAROON SAUSAGE.; TESTIMONIALS OF REGARD.; THE CHINESE COMPOSITOR; SNOWED UNDER; ROUGH ON OSCAR.	Scotty Smith	00:10:24
Play 17	THE POSTAL CARD.; WHY WE ARE NOT GAY.; SCIENTIFIC.; THE REVELATION RACKET IN UTAH.	Scotty Smith	00:16:48
Play 18	SAGE BRUSH TONIC.; LAME FROM HIS BERTH.; THE PUBLIC PRINTER.	Scotty Smith	00:18:40
Play 19	SAD DESTRUCTION.; THE IMMEDIATE REVOLVER; THE SECRET OF HEALTH.; HOUSEHOLD RECIPES.; WHAT IS LITERATURE?; THE PREVIOUS HOTEL.	Scotty Smith	00:10:34
Play 20	ANECDOTE OF SPOTTED TAIL.; THE ZEALOUS VOTER.; HOW TO PRESERVE TEETH; MR. BEECHER'S BRAIN.; OH, NO!	Scotty Smith	00:09:50
Play 21	THE MARCH OF CIVILIZATION.; AN UNCLOUDED WELCOME.; THE PILLOW-SHAM HOLDER.; SOMETHING FRESH.; YANKED TO ETERNITY.; WHY WE SHED THE SCALDING.	Scotty Smith	00:12:09
Play 22	ANOTHER SUGGESTION.; PISCATORIAL AND EDITORIAL; ANOTHER FEATHERED SONGSTER; ABOUT THE OSTRICH; TOO MUCH GOD AND NO FLOUR.; WE ARE GETTING CYNICAL	Scotty Smith	00:11:25
Play 23	ASK US SOMETHING DIFFICULT.; THE MIMIC STAGE.; DECLINE OF AMERICAN HUMOR; CHICAGO CUSTOM HOUSE; FOREIGN OPINION	Scotty Smith	00:14:38
Play 24	THEY HAVE CURBED THEIR WOE.; HUNG BY REQUEST.; THE MELVILLES.; MENDING BROKEN NECKS.; ARE YOU A MORMON?	Scotty Smith	00:12:58
Play 25	CAUTION.; POISONS AND THEIR ANECDOTES.; CORRESPONDENCE.; WHAT THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY NEEDS.	Scotty Smith	00:16:49
Play 26	TABLE MANNERS OF CHILDREN.; WHAT IT MEANT.; VOTERS IN UTAH.; INCONGRUITY	Scotty Smith	00:11:15
Play 27	RIDING DOWN A MOUNTAIN.; CORRALED HIM.; FIRMNESS.; PUT IN A SUMP.	Scotty Smith	00:14:26
Play 28	MINING AS A SCIENCE; DRAWBACKS OF ROYALTY.; ENGLISH HUMOR; ABOUT THE AUTOPSY.	Scotty Smith	00:12:31
Play 29	DON'T LIKE OUR STYLE.; MR. T. WILSON.; ETIQUETTE OF THE NAPKIN; AN INFERNAL MACHINE.	Scotty Smith	00:11:47
Play 30	THE CODFISH.; HIS AGED MOTHER.; BUSINESS LETTERS.; DANGER OF GARDENING.	Scotty Smith	00:11:04

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Baled Hay: A Drier Book than Walt Whitman's ''Leaves o' Grass''